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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Aussie Love Story

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite Anzac bikkies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

With laboured breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table here literally hundreds of his favourite Anzac bickies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his devoted Aussie wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in rumpled posture. His aged and withered hand trembled towards a biscuit at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked by his wife with a spatula.

'F#ck off' she said, 'they're for the funeral.'

7 comments:

Shades said...

!!!

jmb said...

Great story and it reminds me I haven't made any for a very long time.

Anonymous said...

very good

there was a great scottish one billy connolly told...

in the 60s there is an old man and woman sitting on a park bench in glasgow . the man turns round and said..

"I was just thinking, i met you in 1914, didn't have a job, but you stuck by me.

The 1st world war came along and i spent four years in a mudhole getting shot at but you stood by me every step of the way.

after the war i couldn't get a job, it was the great depression but you were there standing by me all the time.

Then the second world war came along and they give me a tin hat and a stick and told me to keep the germans out of sauchiehall street... which i did to the best of my ability. And you stood by me every step of the way.

The war finished, still couldn't get a job because they said i was too old. and you stood by me every step of the way.

And here we are, old, no money, and you are still here by my side.

And i was thinking...you're a fucking jinx!"

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